God Hates Unicorns - God Hates Unicorns

God Hates Unicorns

​God Hates Unicorns
self-released; 2017

​3.5 out of 5

By Dan Weston

God Hates Unicorns is a bit of a silly name. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say this might be the harshest most distorted music I have ever heard. Some of it does get a bit silly. Some of it feels fun. The band sounds unique, I’ll give them that.

​Let's talk about the production. As an engineer I often work with bands that boost high frequencies in the mix. It sounds loud and sometimes good at low levels but the practice is counter-intuitive because if you do actually crank the music your ears will literally start ringing. If there is one piece of advice I have for the band it is to implement a lowpass filter on at least some of the tracks in order for people to be able to play the music loudly. 

They open their self-titled EP God Hates Unicorns with “Cattywampus” which is more or less a flaming ball of white noise. I couldn't make out a single word amongst the talking. It’s dissonant and sounds a bit like Marilyn Manson. The low end needed a lot of work in the mix and I would have loved to hear a booming kick. After this collage of noise I felt the band had a very serious vibe but other songs feel almost playful at times. “Leopard Print Pants” is another noisy affair with screams and guitar.

“Yumbos” is where the silliness starts to arrive. The band goes between hardcore and a blow whistle. A juxtaposition of sound. The band has some success with the delightfully weird rodeo “Turn it Up.” “I Remember” is a little Industrial underneath all the distortion while the closer “Wafer” is a doom metal drone of sounds. 

There’s a great noise band called Lightning Bolt and if that's really the type of production God Hates Unicorns should try and get close to on future efforts. Lightning Bolt is noisy and distorted as anything I have ever heard but you can still crank the music without it feeling harsh and having your ears feel like they are going to start bleeding. 

Since the music was so distorted I had a hard time even getting a grip on the band's actual style because I was so focused on the white noise. They jumped around a lot and had a number of cool ideas. I think the experimental tendencies with aggressive white noise was what worked best for me.

I like the band's punk attitude. A little bit or direction and fairly basic production 101 type stuff and the band can take it to the next level.

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